Shattered dreams
That time of the year again - exams.
I cannot begin to describe how much I loathe them. Every time without fail, I get so stressed out, I think and worry too much, I begin to lose myself. Last time, whenever exam time comes, I go on an eating binge. I made my dad buy me frozen waffles from Isetan, dunkin donuts from BP's petrol station after the Sg Besi toll and chocolate brownies from Famous Amos.
Now, studying abroad, without having my family around me, makes me so sick. I no longer get pampered and I just can't randomly tell my brother, "Joeee I'm hungryyy go make me something to eattt" or tell my sister, "Hey, wanna go get cheesy wedges from KFC?". Instead, all I do is stock up on instant and frozen food, and then blow like AUD$20 per day eating out for both my lunch and dinner - and usually, fast food (esp KFC since it's only opposite uni).
Surprisingly, this time round, I didn't go on my usual eating binge. Instead, I decided to go on the "emo-crying binge". I admit, I've let my emotions got the better of me, succumbing to tears every time I feel overly stressed. Like what Edwin said, "you've changed, you're now so weak emotionally". Sad, but true. What can I do? Everyday (and it has been so for the past week), all I do is: Get up, get lunch, study at the library, have dinner, online, sleep. I feel that I might have been pushing myself a bit too much. From four hours a day, it became six, and then eight... Just the other day, we did the ten hour record. Never in my life have I tried something like that. By the time I got home, I really felt delusional. I can only hope that all these hardcore studying will pay off, one way or another.
I have been dying to go to the city. I want to shop so badly. I've not gone to the city for the past two weeks, and it has been an achievement. The other day I followed Linda and her friends for breakfast in the city. You cannot imagine how happy I was - like a free little bird. I went mad inside David Jones, seeing all the tiny little packages for Christmas. Every other minute, I'd go, "OMG look at this!! OMG I want this!! Eh buy for me la!". So, if anyone feels generous, feel free to drop by DJ and get me something ok?
Oh and one last thing, to this particular person out there. You're a bitch, and you know that, don't you? It's time to stop acting so childish and just grow up. You can say what you want to say, and let people judge me. Because really, I DON'T FUCKING CARE.
Ok, the crazy studying sessions have really drove me to the brink of insanity. Goodbye world.
I cannot begin to describe how much I loathe them. Every time without fail, I get so stressed out, I think and worry too much, I begin to lose myself. Last time, whenever exam time comes, I go on an eating binge. I made my dad buy me frozen waffles from Isetan, dunkin donuts from BP's petrol station after the Sg Besi toll and chocolate brownies from Famous Amos.
Now, studying abroad, without having my family around me, makes me so sick. I no longer get pampered and I just can't randomly tell my brother, "Joeee I'm hungryyy go make me something to eattt" or tell my sister, "Hey, wanna go get cheesy wedges from KFC?". Instead, all I do is stock up on instant and frozen food, and then blow like AUD$20 per day eating out for both my lunch and dinner - and usually, fast food (esp KFC since it's only opposite uni).
Surprisingly, this time round, I didn't go on my usual eating binge. Instead, I decided to go on the "emo-crying binge". I admit, I've let my emotions got the better of me, succumbing to tears every time I feel overly stressed. Like what Edwin said, "you've changed, you're now so weak emotionally". Sad, but true. What can I do? Everyday (and it has been so for the past week), all I do is: Get up, get lunch, study at the library, have dinner, online, sleep. I feel that I might have been pushing myself a bit too much. From four hours a day, it became six, and then eight... Just the other day, we did the ten hour record. Never in my life have I tried something like that. By the time I got home, I really felt delusional. I can only hope that all these hardcore studying will pay off, one way or another.
I have been dying to go to the city. I want to shop so badly. I've not gone to the city for the past two weeks, and it has been an achievement. The other day I followed Linda and her friends for breakfast in the city. You cannot imagine how happy I was - like a free little bird. I went mad inside David Jones, seeing all the tiny little packages for Christmas. Every other minute, I'd go, "OMG look at this!! OMG I want this!! Eh buy for me la!". So, if anyone feels generous, feel free to drop by DJ and get me something ok?
Oh and one last thing, to this particular person out there. You're a bitch, and you know that, don't you? It's time to stop acting so childish and just grow up. You can say what you want to say, and let people judge me. Because really, I DON'T FUCKING CARE.
Ok, the crazy studying sessions have really drove me to the brink of insanity. Goodbye world.
posted by Leen at
10:22 PM
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