Why, hello there?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost, 1915

*****
Similarly, I think I am taking what the poet took. A pathway where so many others took beforehand, a way which I could just trod on and move on with life, a way which is choosing to return home after my studies; live at home with my family (oh and did I mention with a car?), with a secured job (that will probably work you to death a.k.a. social suicide) or a greener pathway, where no one really paved a way for you, only waiting for you yourself to make one and see what comes out of it? Nevertheless, that way is to return here in 2009, slog it out with part time jobs, trying very hard to tell your dad that "I don't need more money" whilst waiting for that PR approval, and then getting a job in your field and earning a decent amount, far far away from home?

Signs have shown that I should take the latter, which is also the one Frost took. Every night I stay awake thinking, is this what I want? Is this what I worked hard (or maybe, not so hard) for? Do I even know what I want to do in life? What do I want to achieve in life? What essentially makes me a happy girl?

*****

The true happiness once embedded in a young girl has now been taken over by nothing but worries and sadness. Behind the "smiling" facade lies a very frail person hiding all her flaws and pain.

She knew that somewhere along her tiring journey, she lost herself... somehow...